seekershouse

Are Your Friends Poison? 5 Revealing Questions

In Motivational, Philosophy, Self Help on July 13, 2013 at 1:51 am

 

There’s a wise old saying that says you can see someone’s future by looking at the company they keep. For the most part, you are headed in the same direction as the people that you decide to spend your time with. If all of your friends wish to settle for a modest, mediocre existence, then you probably will too. If your friends, on the other hand, only expect and except the finest in life then you will too. The same can and will be seen with having friends who are criminals, sports fanatics or wealthy entrepreneurs. There are some exceptions to the rules, but generally speaking, “like attracts like”.
One exception to the rule can be seen in moments of growth and changes in consciousness. You may realize in times like these that you and your friends are no longer going in the same direction. The path is coming to a fork, and the path that you want to take leads to higher uncharted lands that your friends have little or no interest in exploring. To be more precise, this is actually just a time delay of the attraction used to draw those friends in the beginning.
 
Some friends really do stick closer than a brother and will be there through out life’s up and downs with your best interest in mind. Keep these friends. Only a few of them come in a lifetime.  Be that kind of friend in return. On the other hand, some friends (here I use the term lightly) don’t deserve to stand on your property, let alone be in your life. If you find it somewhat complicated to decipher what quality of friends you have, maybe these few points will be of assistance.
 
Is there a mutual love and respect between you?
To most women a feeling of love may be more important, while men usually lean more toward respect. The point however is the same. Do both you and your friends give and receive the same level of both? If your friendship constantly includes you being belittled and made to feel like a lesser partner, this should be a red flag. Someone who wants you around to point out your flaws and make themselves look better has deep seeded self-esteem and self acceptance issues. To these types, you may secretly be less of a friend and more of a sidekick or object of comedy relief.
 
Is this person there when life gets ugly?
In the really hard times poisonous friends tend to stop taking your calls, pretend to not know you, or talk ill about you to others. None but the best of friends will be there when you have nothing to give them. If you were broke, homeless and unemployed tomorrow without warning, name ten people who would try to do something to help you bounce back. Whether it’s giving up a sofa for you or taking kids to school while you job hunt, you probably already have a good idea of who really cares for you.

Can I trust this person with anything?
I may sound a little extreme with this one, but feel that a friend in the truest since of the word should be completely trust worthy. There will always be situations out of his or her control, (e.g. your car is stolen in his possession or her laptop destroyed your favorite movie) but for the most part you should feel confident this person would never intentionally betray you or be negligent with your possessions. A revealing sign of a true friend is someone who is quick to take responsibility when they feel they have wronged you and they take action to restore the situation. This rare type of person will usually value personal integrity above getting over on people even if undetected. 
 
Will this friend tell me the truth when it hurts? 
Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Value anyone in your life who cares enough for you to tell you bitter truth when you need to, but least want to hear it. The worst kind of poison taste sweet and is smooth going down. Anyone in your circle who knowingly watches you fall (be it to life destroying addictions, habits, mental hang ups) and does nothing should be dropped quickly. Some people will even go as far as to enjoy the ride that is your demise. These kind of snakes will watch you lose your house to gambling and then go with you to Vegas. If you have anger issues, they will provoke a situation to see how far it goes. It is best to realize quickly that these friends are dangerous and strictly self invested. Any person in your life that will not hesitate to be honest with you values your life, well being and future more than your temporary feelings.
 
Would this friend hold me back for their own benefit?
These kind of poison friends can be a bit tricky to spot, but they are certainty worth identifying. This type of person pretends to want to see you advance in life, but secretly fears losing you in some way. This can be played out by a friend convincing you to choose the worst of two schools because it’s closer to them. They may promote negative ideas about your romantic interest to prevent you from marrying and therefore moving into a new stage of your life without them. These kind of people may not exactly mean to harm you, but they have insecurities within themselves that can place you in the cross-hairs. Often with close friends, sudden or great progress on the behalf of one will tend to shine a spot light in that area of the other. For many this is too much to bear. These friends are needy and therefore may be the hardest to see go. These people operate from selfishness so don’t you get tricked into feeling selfish for moving on.
 
Hopefully you can now better detect the wolves among the sheep in your circles. And also, why not take a moment today to let a few of your tried and true friends know that you appreciate them?
 
Thanks for reading -Javis White Seeker’sHouse.com

 

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